Drunk
by bekki1909
Summary: Phan- one shot. Dan and Phil are invited to Chris' birthday party and Phil has to handle drunk!Dan and finds out a long kept secret. Fluff- a bit of angst idk.


"Dan, I don't want to be here, let's go home."

"Oh come on Phil, it's fun here! We never go to parties and I mean I'm okay with that, I don't like socializing that much myself, but let's just try to enjoy this one, alright? Besides we promised Chris to be here and we can't just go home after 5 minutes of being here:"

Phil sighed. Dan was right, they promised to come to Chris's birthday party, they were two of his best friends after all and he had to admit that this party wasn't that bad. He just hated to be around so many people for longer time, so he wasn't the biggest fan of parties. He'd rather enjoy hanging around at home with Dan, watch a movie or just quietly sit together in the lounge, not really talking, but enjoying each other's company. But no, he had assured Chris to come.

_Wait, where is Dan?_

Phil looked up, searching the room with a puzzled look on his face. He had been lost in thoughts again. Happened to him a lot lately. He wasn't quite sure why and what his brain seemed to need to think about so badly, but as long as it didn't bother him that much it was okay. He stood up from the couch he – and a few minutes ago Dan- had been sitting on. It was calmer and more quiet here and that's the reason why he had gone there straight away once the two of them arrived. He pushed himself through the crowd of people that was gathering in Chris's apartment.

_Where can he be? He was with me a few moments ago, wasn't he? Why didn't he say that he is… _

But Phil couldn't finish his though because in that moment he was going around the corner and bumped into another person who was trying to squeeze himself through the many people.

"Ah, whaht te hell, couldn't you… o- oh Phiiil, it's yoou, I didn't not- notice, you 'right?"

Phil looked up to see a happy goofy grin on his best friend's slightly blushed face. The heavy smell of alcohol entered his nose. _He's drunk._

"Yeah, I feel wonderful, but how about you? Dan, how much did you have?"

"Nh-I have no idea wat you re um… talkn bout, Phil. I- I am perrrfectly fine."

"Yeah sure you are. You can't fool me, so stop telling lies. I know how you get at parties, around alcohol. I know how it 'supernaturally pulls you towards it and makes you drink all of it'"

Phil gestured furiously with his hands. Situations similarly had happen too often already.

"You have to be more careful. You can't just get drunk after like one hour, it'll ruin the party for you, besides you probably won't remember a thing tomorrow anyway."

"Phiiil, stop actin lik-e my mum. Com on, lez have sum fun"

Dan grabbed his hand and Phil didn't quite know what to feel because on one hand Dan just totally ignored his warnings, but on the other, drunk Dan was always fun, so why not improve his mood a bit and have a good time with his best friend?

Dan dragged Phil through the mass of people, still holding his hand, to the other side of the room; it was less crowded and quieter there. Dan sat down on the sofa and pulled him down so that he was sitting too, almost on Dan's lap though. Phil shuffled awkwardly, not sure where this was heading. He somehow finally achieved to unwrap himself from Dan's embrace and laughed nervously, though he wasn't quite sure why. Why was the atmosphere around them suddenly so stiff and uncomfortable?

"Dan, why are we here? I thought you wanted to have fun?"

"Im so tired Phiiil. I wasn beforr but now s-suddnly.. But w-we can hav fun here too, yoou know?"

Phil stared at Dan with amazed eyes. Was he thinking what he was thinking? He couldn't possibly mean it.

"Wh- um… what are you talking about? I… I'm…"

Dan interrupted Phil with joyful laughs. Phil looked at him, feeling confused.

"You r so cuute sometims, yu knoww that?"

Phil felt his face turn red. He quickly turned away so Dan couldn't see he was blushing. _He thinks I'm cute?_

He almost jumped when he felt Dan's hand on his arm. He turned around again to face him, hoping it was dark enough so he wouldn't notice his still colored face.

"Ph- Phil, I feel so tiiired nd exhau… exaustd, can we go h-home pleease?"

Dan looked at him with a pleading face, grabbing his hand again, but this time more careful. Phil smiled at him.

_How could you say no to such a face?_

"Of course we can go home, I wasn't enjoying this party anyway and I don't think we'll miss very much if we go now. I'll just quickly say goodbye to Chris and then we can go, okay?"

Dan watched him while he was speaking; looking like it was taking all of his force to keep his eyes open. He nodded.

"Alright, don't fall asleep while I'm gone!"

He quickly turned around, pressing himself through the people again. It didn't take long to find Chris, standing next to the food table chatting with PJ. He quickly explained the situation and was grateful that Chris didn't seem to be that upset. He made his way back to the couch again, hoping Dan was still awake. He wasn't so thrilled by the idea of carrying Dan all the way home, or at least to the street to take a taxi, because he clearly wasn't that fit.

He was relieved when he saw Dan sitting on the sofa smiling at him.

"So you aren't asleep then. Good, I wouldn't have dragged you the whole way to our apartment. To be honest, I'd just leave you here for your own destiny."

Dan started laughing and playfully punched Phil's arm. "Ouch, that hurt!" He exclaimed, though it was only a joke. They both couldn't stop laughing, bending them self's and holding their hurting stomachs. Phil wasn't even sure why they were laughing so hard, maybe it was the alcohol though Phil didn't drink that much, or maybe it was just the two of them being silly and enjoying each other's company. Either way, it was nice to spend some time with Dan again; he didn't see him very often in the last time. Okay, _seeing_ was maybe the wrong term, they saw each other every day- they lived together after all-, but in the last few weeks Phil had the feeling Dan was avoiding him. He had been locked up in his room the whole day, only coming out for eating, and while they were having lunch or so together, he didn't make that much eye-contact and responded with very short answers when Phil asked him casual questions. He often asked himself worried if he had done something wrong or said something that might have upset Dan, but he couldn't think of anything. He just had been hoping that Dan was okay and he'd be normal again soon. And he was now. At least Phil wished that he was his usual self again, and hadn't just forgotten his change because of the alcohol.

After a few minutes of heart full laughing they calmed down again. They almost crooked themselves on the floor, holding their sides and smiling at each other. Dan's eyes were sparkling and Phil was happy to see it again. He had missed the old Dan.

"Come, let's go home. You need to sleep." Phil said and held out his hand for Dan. He thankfully took it and pulled himself up. They hold onto each other for a moment longer than necessary, looking into each other's eyes and Phil became that weird warm feeling in his stomach again that he often got around Dan.

They squeezed themselves through the crowd again, though it was becoming less since other people also decided to go home. In the hallway they quickly put on their jackets, Phil quickly wishing a few goodbyes before heading downstairs. Chris apartment wasn't that far away from an underground station, but Phil had the feeling Dan wasn't able to walk one single step anymore- he was too quiet. Maybe he was sobering up and the headache and other pain had started. He watched Dan with a questioning face while they were waiting for a taxi. But his face wasn't showing any kind of emotion, he just blankly looked at the ground before him. Maybe it really was just that he was sobering up, but Phil had the feeling that Dan was trying to avoid him again. He really had hoped it would stop after this night.

"Dan?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you… are you feeling better now?"

"Yes, I… I can think more clearly again. Still not feeling really good or really sober but…" He shrugged.

"Oh okay. That's good." Phil hesitated. "Um… Dan, c-can I ask you something?" He stuttered.

"Y-yeah sure, what is it?"

_Is he stuttering because he is nervous or because he is still not quite sober?_

"Why are you avoiding me?" The words bubbling out of his mouth.

Dan winced at the sudden, apparently unexpected question. He tried to avoid Phil's eyes, watching the ground like there was something interesting about it.

"Dan." Phil said calmly. "Dan, look at me."

Dan looked up and finally met Phil's worried eyes.

"Tell me. Please. You know you can always talk to me, I won't judge you- no matter what, you know that, right?"

Something changed in Dan's face. It wasn't realisation. It was anger. Dan balled his fists. For a moment Phil thought he could also see something else. Something like sadness. Or desperation. But after a moment it was gone. Now there was only fury and rage on face.

"No I _can't_! I _can't _tell you everything, okay?! You'll hate me! Everyone will. You don't understand."

And with this words Dan turned around and rushed down the street. Phil watched him go with a perplexed face, trying to process the shock, before shaking his head- he had to think clearly now. He hurried after him, first thinking Dan had been too fast and he had lost him, but after a few minutes of searching, he found him, cowering on the floor, back leaning against a house wall.

"Dan!" Phil shouted, not really caring if Dan wanted to see him or not- he was his best friend and when your best friend had problems, you try your best to help them.

"Go away. Leave me alone."

Phil stepped a few meters forwards. He noticed the tears on Dan's cheek he tried to wipe away, but he could still see them.

"Dan, look, I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me if you really don't want to. But it seems like it's causing you problems and I noticed your change, how you always try to hide your emotions, but sometimes I see how unhappy and anxious you are, and I just want to help you. I promise, I promise on my youtube channel that I won't be mad at you, whatever you're going to say, okay?"

Dan looked up hopefully. "You promise?"

"Yes." He moved a bit forwards again so finally he was sitting next to him, his spine also pressed against the wall.

He saw Dan taking a deep breath, trying not to cry anymore.

"Phil, I- I'm gay."

Phil was taken aback for a moment. Dan? Gay? Phil didn't have anything against homosexuals; on the contrary, he supported them. His opinion was that everyone should be able to love who they want to without being criticized. But it was just so unexpected that Dan, who always claimed to be straight (sometimes a bit too much), now suddenly announced he was gay.

"Ph- Phil, do you hate me now? I knew it. I shouldn't have told you, I…"

"Dan, no, it's okay, I'm not angry and I don't hate you. I'm totally fine with it, alright? Calm down."

"You… you still want to be my friend?"

"Of course I still want to be your friend. Best friend to be exact. Nothing has changed, okay? I accept it, I'm happy that you found out who you are and I hope that in future you don't have feel ashamed about it anymore."  
Dan watched Phil's face mindfully.

"Phil…"

"Yes?"

"There… There is um… more…"

"You can tell me anything."

"It's j-just that I kinda… uhm well I kinda have a… crush on you."

Dan looked away quickly, not wanting to meet Phil's eyes. He couldn't handle the truth. Phil would get angry and yell at him, like other people did before, and he'd want him to move out and never have contact with him again. He felt so abandoned. It wasn't just a little crush he had on Phil, more like a major, gigantic one. He was in love with him. But he didn't want to tell him that, it would just creep him out even more. _He is definitely going to throw me out of our apartment. Where else am I supposed to go? My parents don't even let me near their house anymore. Friends? I could spend a few nights at Chris', but that's not really a long term solu…_

Dan wasn't able to end his though because suddenly Phil's lips were pressed against his own.

Dan's eyes were wide open; shocked because he didn't know why Phil was doing this. He didn't like him that way. Or did he? But he didn't dare to pull away. Phil was probably just trying to console him and after this, things would get awkward. So why not take this chance and kiss the love of his life when it was probably his last chance? He closed his eyes and responded to the kiss; sinking into the feeling of Phil's soft lips on his. He felt like he was melting, calming down. Phil sighed against his lips, clearly feeling much more relaxed too. They remained like this for a few more moments until they hesitantly pulled away from each other.

"Phil… why did you…"

"I think… um I think I might have a little crush on you too." Phil was blushing hardly. The moment Dan spoke out these words, Phil knew that he felt the same way. It was like everything finally made sense. Not only Dan's weird behaviour, but also these strange feelings he became when he was around Dan. This odd warming sensation, like thousands of butterflies were in his stomach all at once. The awkwardness in the last few weeks when the two of them had been alone. And Phil couldn't do much, it just overcame him and he had the strong urge to just lean over and kiss him. In normal situations he would had perfectly handle this need, but then it just felt right, even when it was just the alcohol.

Phil met Dan's eyes. His beautiful chocolate brown eyes that found their spark again. They stared in each other's eyes for a bit until Dan started to smile. First it was a little very shy smile, but then it grew wider and bigger until Dan was grinning at him, practically overflowed with happiness. And Phil smiled back.

"Is it really true? You like me the way I liked you for like, months?" Dan asked, still some disbelieve in his voice.

"Yeah, I… I think so." Phil couldn't stop smiling. He was happier than ever.

"Wow, what a waste of time. We could have had so much fun instead of all these embarrassing awkward moments."

"Well, we can catch up now." Phil smirked and Dan started to laugh. He seemed more content than before too.

"You are the first person who didn't turn me down after I told them I was… well, gay. Thank you."

Phil took Dan's hand in his, squeezing it slightly.

"Come on, then. Let's go find a taxi and drive home. We could watch a movie or something, well if you aren't too tired. Or we could just… you know, cuddle?"

Dan smiled.

"Well I'm not saying no to that."

Phil stood up, pulling on Dan's hand to help him up too, and they both walked along the pavement back to the street, still holding hands and slightly leaning against each other.


End file.
